


Home

by Dalankar



Category: AFL slash - Fandom, Sports RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-10
Updated: 2012-10-10
Packaged: 2017-11-16 00:17:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/533382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dalankar/pseuds/Dalankar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sharrod is leaving. But is this the end of their story?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home

He switches off the TV and looks at Buddy who is busy Tweeting away the latest photo he'd taken of Sharrod sitting quietly at home watching TV. There is a small smile on Buddy's face that Sharrod knows means he's having a Twitter conversation with someone. Maybe Gibbo. Maybe James. Probably James, who is currently up in Queensland soaking up the sun and the sand with Quade.

 

"I want to go home." The words hang quietly in the air. Such simple words. But it rips Sharrod's heart in two to say them.

 

Buddy looks up at him with a laugh.

 

"Man. What are you talking about? You _are_ home," he says, eyes going back to whatever was happening in Twitter world.

 

"Back to Perth." He doesn't look at Buddy, instead focussing his eyes on the GQ magazine haphazardly thrown across the coffee table. Denzel Washington is smiling at him from the front cover. He likes Denzel. The book of Eli is one of his favourite films.

In his peripheral vision, he sees Buddy's head snap up. He can feel the weight of those green eyes on him.  Buddy is quiet for so long that Sharrod is forced to tear his eyes away from Denzel's cutting Armani suit and look up at Buddy.

 

"All of a sudden?" Buddy's voice is curiously bland, like all the emotion has been forcefully drained from his voice. 

 

"I need to be closer to my family for a while." Sharrod feels the weight of his words. The truth of them. He is doing what he must. But it doesn't mean he has to like it. Infact he hates it. Hates that doing the right thing is taking him away from Buddy. But he knows he'll regret it otherwise and hates that knowledge even more.

 

Buddy's eyebrows draw up in a frown. "Is everything okay?"

 

Sharrod shakes his head. "Yes-no. I just...I need to be there."

 

Buddy looks at him, green eyes piercing through him. Buddy has always been able to see him. See _him_. Not the face he puts on for the world. He could never keep any secrets from those eyes. 

 

But Buddy doesn’t push him.  "Does the club-does Collingwood know?" he asks instead. Sharrod wants to cry because this is what he's giving up. He can't bear the thought of not coming home to Buddy every night. Of not waking up beside him and hearing his deep voice first thing in the morning.

 

"I...wanted to tell you first."  His voice shakes with unshed tears and Buddy immediately draws closer to him on the couch. He reaches out a hand and takes one of Sharrod's, long fingers tracing the lines across the palm.

 

"You're sure?" Buddy asks, eyes trained on Sharrod's hand.

 

"Yes. I'm sorry." His hand shakes and Buddy grips it tighter with both of his', biting his lips in an attempt , Sharrod knows, to not cry.

 

"No. Don't be. It's your life. I just...what does this mean? For us?" Buddy's voice stays steady, only wavering a little in the middle.

 

"I don't know." He'd run all the scenarios in his head. None of them had a happy ending.

 

Buddy looks up at him, his grip on Sharrod's hand now hard enough to be painful.  "Do you...does it mean you don't want-"

 

"No! This is not because of you. If I had a choice, I'd stay here. With you. But I can't. And I don't want to hold you back if… I think we should end this." There. The words are out of his mouth. Words he never thought he'd have the strength to say. He thought it best to have a clean break instead of drifting apart slowly and eventually forgetting what they mean to each other.

 

Buddy recoils, letting go of Sharrod's hand. "End this? Is that what you want?"

 

Sharrod takes a deep breath and manages to hold Buddy's eyes as he says, "I think it would be best for both of us."

 

Buddy's face twists. And Sharrod can see that for the first time that night, he is angry. "The best for us? What makes you think being without you is best for me? Why would you even think that?"

 

"We'd be thousands of miles apart for most of the year! We'd barely even get to see each other!" Sharrod pleads, trying desperately to be reasonable because maybe being rational will hurt less.

 

Buddy shakes his head in denial and leans closer. "We'll make it work," he says in a voice of utter confidence. But his voice wavers a little when he asks, "Unless you don't want to?"

 

Sharrod tries not to let hope flare in his heart. He fails. "You think it'll work?"

 

Buddy cradles his face with both hands, strong hands sweeping across his jaw and threading in his hair. Buddy smiles, small but certain. "I love you. We'll make it work."

 

Sharrod can't help when the tears fall. He falls forward into Buddy and buries his face in his chest. He grips the soft material of Buddy's T-shirt and cries. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry to have to leave you."

 

He feels Buddy's long arms wrap around him and feels gentle lips in his hair.

 

"We'll be okay. We'll be fine," Buddy says. Sharrod feels the beat of his heart strong and steady against his hands and believes him.

 

\---

 

"Who's going to drive you to games now?" Buddy asks, impossibly close. And for the first time since they began, Sharrod finds that he doesn't care about who sees them together.

 

"You were a terrible driver!" Sharrod says with a grin, looking up at Buddy.

 

Buddy huffs indignantly and Sharrod leans up and kisses him. Buddy lets out an 'omph' of surprise but recovers to slide one hand in his hair and the other one around his waist to pull him closer. The last boarding call for the 9.50pm Melbourne to Perth Jetstar flight forces them to relent. They have ignored two boarding calls already.

 

"I should go before they send out a name call," Sharrod says, reluctantly pulling back from the kiss. Buddy holds on to him. And the look on his face tells Sharrod that it has finally hit him. This is the last time they'd see each other for a long time. He'd put off thinking about it because he couldn't bear it. But now time is running out and he doesn't want to let go. Doesn't want to leave. He grips his hands in Buddy's jacket and breathes. He hears Buddy take a strangled breath above him.

 

"I have to…" He can't finish the sentence because he's about to cry and he doesn't want to cry.

 

Buddy kisses his forehead gently. "I know," he says, voice choked, "I know."

 

Sharrod leans back to look at Buddy. His face is scrunched up, eyes shining. He looks like the world is falling apart around him.

He touches Buddy's face fleetingly, committing to memory everything that he already knows.

 

Then he steps back, adjusting the straps of his carry-on bag on his shoulder. Buddy doesn't reach for him but his hands stay out stretched for a moment before he lets them fall.

 

Sharrod walks backward towards the gate, eyes fixed on Buddy standing under the white lights of the airport. He reaches the security check point and puts his bag down for the scanner. He looks back at Buddy and lifts a hand in farewell. Buddy smiles and the light catches on the tears on his face. Sharrod digs his fingernails in his palm and doesn't run to him. Doesn't cry.

 

Later he is sitting huddled against the window on the plane with his hoodie pulled down so low it’s covering his eyes, trying not to think, to force his mind away from Buddy. The flight attendant calls for all electrical devices to be turned off and he absent mindedly reaches for his phone to switch it off. His heart twists as he sees his wallpaper. It is a photo of Buddy he’d taken a few months ago. Buddy had been playing with his phone and Sharrod had just put in the second disc of the LOST dvd set into the dvd player because they’d decided to have a LOST marathon that week. He’d looked up and found Buddy looking at him. He’d taken the photo because he wanted to catch the way Buddy was looking at him, with soft eyes and a gentle smile. It was James that made the photo his wallpaper and Sharrod couldn’t find the will to change it. A new message blinks insistently at him, breaking him out of his sad reverie.

 

One new message.

 

_I love you._

 

Sharrod squeezes his eyes shut as tears prickle at his eyes. His phone buzzes again.

 

_I'll come visit in two weeks._

 

Sharrod can't help the laugh that escapes his lips. It startles the man next to him out of sleep. Sharrod smiles at him apologetically.

 

He switches off his phone and closes his eyes, his heart lighter than it had been for weeks. He falls asleep thinking about green eyes and warm hands and stories that have no endings.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I just met this ship. It's not fair that the real world can intrude like this. Goodbye, Sharrod. Please come back home soon.


End file.
